Blood Promises
by ParisWriter
Summary: After discovering the body of his murdered wife, Alistair makes his son swear a promise in her name while he makes a promise of his own to her.


Author's Note: This is a VERY short piece about Alistair falling apart following the death of the love of his life, written for the Tragic Love contest held by the Gaming Love Interests group on deviantART.

While Alistair and Varia Surana are my Dragon Age: Origins OTP, I don't consider this an official part of my headcanon. It's simply an idea I've toyed with once or twice. Their son, Duncan, is 25 years old when this take place, with the OG baby being about 26-27.

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**Blood Promises**

It seemed ironic, that the son he fathered in order to save her life should also be the very person who ended up taking that life from her.

He had been sitting in the center of the room for what felt like an hour, but in reality only a few minutes had passed since the two of them finally located the chamber under the palace where the man who had taken her from them had been conducting the blood magic ritual which would supposedly restore the missing part of his power to him.

They had been hopeful. They had prayed they were not too late to stop him. They wanted so much to be able to save her. Especially him. He had sworn to protect her for the rest of their lives together. He had failed her, just as he had failed their son.

"Father?"

Alistair looked up at Duncan, marveling how well their little boy – now a grown man – was taking it all. Then again, his son was more like him than he wanted to admit. He was likely holding in the grief he was feeling and channeling it into anger toward the man responsible for his mother's murder: his own half-brother.

He couldn't bear to look into his son's eyes. They were just the same as his mother's had been - the very same deep shade of grey - and as he had gotten older and become more adept at magic the identical silver flecks became more and more prominent in them. Those were the two gifts she had bestowed upon their only child: her gift of magic and her beautiful eyes. Eyes which he would now be forced to remember as cold and distant, staring almost accusingly at him since he had first walked into the room.

That bastard had left her lying upon the altar with her face turned toward the room's only entryway. Alistair knew it was meant as an insult and a taunt to them both: "_Look what I've done. I've taken the most important thing in your lives, and now I have what I want. You can't stop me_."

"I can't take her out of here like this," he told his son, running his fingers over the deep cut across her throat where his _other_ son had bled her. "The people... They shouldn't remember her this way. She's still the Hero of Ferelden."

"Here," Duncan said, removing his cloak and laying it over her to cover the wound and her blood-soaked robes. He then gently ran his hand over her face, closing her eyes before looking to his father once more.

"Do you want some time alone with her?"

Alistair nodded, barely containing the sadness within him. He didn't need for his son to see him cry over the lifeless body of his mother. Not when they both knew more than ever what he would need to do. Duncan stood silently and began making his way to the door.

"Duncan?"

He stopped when he heard his father call his name.

"Yes?" he asked, turning around at the door. His father didn't move, not even to turn his head to look at him.

"Kill him," Alistair said, not needing to mention the other man's name. "Show him no mercy. Take his life the way he took hers."

"I will, Father," Duncan promised, his resolve already firm. "My brother shall die by my hand, I swear it. She will be avenged."

As soon as he heard the door softly close behind his son, Alistair lost all of his composure. He clutched his love tightly to his chest, his loud sobs echoing through the empty chamber as he slowly rocked her back and forth in his arms.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." he chanted the apology over and over, tears rapidly running down his cheeks and falling upon the cloak Duncan had used to hide the evidence of the violent act which had ended her life. Soon he began to pray, wishing that somehow the Maker would hear him and grant him one more miracle by giving her back to him.

It wasn't her time. It couldn't be. They had promised each other they would always be together, until the very end. They were going to go together to the Deep Roads when the time came, to die fighting alongside each other – just as they had fallen in love with one another while fighting darkspawn side-by-side during the Blight.

All of their memories together suddenly played themselves out in his mind, from that first time he saw her hiding in Eamon's stables to that morning three days ago when she had given him a kiss and a smile before setting off on her way to the market to buy spell reagents with Hawke and her daughter. Every smile, every look, every touch, every word she ever spoke filled his heart with so much sorrow he thought it might literally break. That would have been too much of a blessing, though, to die there with her in his arms.

At least he got to say goodbye. Most people he knew who lost someone they cared about lamented about never getting a chance to say goodbye, but he'd gotten to say it to her. Granted, it had been on that morning when she left their home and not as she was leaving the world... but it was still a softly whispered farewell, a parting of ways with the final words they always said to one another.

"_I love you_."

"_I love you, too_."

It didn't make him feel a damn bit better if those were the last words they spoke to one another. She was gone.

He laid a kiss on top of her head, just as he had before she set off, and he could feel how cold her body had become beneath the golden locks of her hair. Gone was her warmth, her magic, her laughter... _his_ everything. He felt as if his entire world had come to an end, but he had to stay strong and keep going, for the sake of their son. Once the enemy had been dealt with, though, he knew what he would do. He would keep his part of the promise they had made. He would go to the Deep Roads and die fighting, and her name would be the last word upon his lips.

"Goodbye, my love," he told her, hoping she was waiting for him in the Fade and could still hear him. "My darling Varia... I will be with you soon."


End file.
